Week 8

I read "Is there love after Baby?" this week and wish I would have read it 8 years ago. I know for my own relationship that I did all that I could and it couldn't be saved with what we knew but in the early years this could have saved some strife. It is nice to know, even having other friends with kids, that other parents go through the same thing as we went through when we had our kids. Just hearing it from someone else that isn't involved makes it feel more true and having a whole study done on it is comforting. Mothers, or at least the ones that I have talked to, seem to all feel the same way that men either expect nothing to change in the partner/lover section or expect too much of the woman in the mother section and in the house work section which makes me think about the work-family conflict that we read about in the book this week. The book says that the work-family conflict is the feeling of being pulled in multiple directions by incompatible demands from one's job and one's family. With 60% of married couples with children being dual-earner households if both parents aren't pulling their weight and especially communicating with each other how they are feeling in a constructive way this can lead to resentment and additional stress making it seem like children are the root of the problems.

Week 7

This week I felt a strong connection to the article "Should you Stay together for the Children". I am a single parent to three amazing children and I know that I fall outside of her parameters as we were in a very bad situation. Their father and I didn't just argue he had severe anger problems that he is now dealing with through counseling. We were better off as a single parent family and now that he is receiving the help that he needs he can now be a positive influence in their life. Having said that I do see the problems that come from divorce in my children and have since we separated. It is hard on everyone and they need a way to express that which comes out in different ways for my kids because they were so young we had regressions and my son had to go into counseling as well to deal with the loss and the other issues that came from being in our situation. I still believe though that divorce should not be used just because you have itchy feet or are going through a rough patch. Marriage isn't something that should be taken lightly and shouldn't be given up on lightly either. I stayed in my marriage probably longer than I should have but at least I know in my heart that I did everything in my power to make our family work as a whole.

week 6

This week I was reading "Inside the Teen Brain" and was really interested in all of the changes that are happening in the brain especially in the limbic system and the prefrontal cortex. The limbic system is in overdrive and the prefrontal cortex is not activating to help control that impulsivity that comes from the limbic system. I was already scared of becoming the mother of teenagers because of the hormones and the emotions and that was just with my girls. I didn't know what to expect with my son. Now I am gathering that I should expect a lot of risk taking. It made me wonder if boys and girls are equal in this risk taking or if it is more prevalent in one or the other. Maybe it is just how they take risks that differ. I could see my son being way more physically risky than I could with my daughters as he already seems to push the adreneline bounds with climbing trees and rocks and his choices in personal safety. I am constantly reminding him that he only has one body and it has to last his whole life so he needs to take care of it and he is only eight.

Weel 5

I am a single mom of three kids with the oldest being a boy. I thought that part this week about how divorce affects children and how it affects children was very interesting. I know from experience how hard it is to work through missing activities for children because someone has to bring in a pay check and pay the bills. You feel so much guilt, or at least I do, because I feel like I am missing their whole childhood. I miss all of the field trips, often I miss practices for activities such as basketball, and sometimes I even miss the games. My children are very lucky though in that their father and I still get along very well for their sake. We have a better co-parenting relationship now that we are divorced than we ever did when we were married. It was interesting to see that boys with their mothers tend to have the highest chance of falling in to a negative reinforcement trap since that doesn't happen with my boy but sometimes happens with my youngest girl.

week 4

I was reading about effective teaching and learning especially regarding writing and it got me thinking about my son. He has been getting lower scores in writing this year due to his desire to do it perfectly and if it can't be done to his standards then he gets frustrated and refuses to complete the assignment. He and I have spent all year trying to find a strategy for writing that would work for him. He has been an excellent student receiving above average grades until this year and it has been discouraging to watch him struggle. When I read about the strategy to use POW+TREE it made sense to me and since he is a lot like me I hope it will make sense to him too. As a parent it is encouraging to find so many resources to help my child succeed as a student. I think that it is so important to help support our children and to set high yet attainable goals for our children. For my children we always break it down into smaller goals so that the big goals feel easier.